Glen Rice and Sarah Palin Hooked Up … Where’s the Problem?

When Glen Rice was relevant – before this week – we loved him as a player. A lot of that came from his proficiency in NBA Jam.

As a Southern Californian, we had no ties to the Miami Heat, except that Harold Miner was from USC and labeled the next Michael Jordan and his NBA Jam stats were way too good. Add him and Glen Rice and they were one of the the best combos in the game. When you featured Glen Rice’s accuracy from 3-point land and Miner’s dunking prowess, you had a lethal combination.

(We will stand by this until we die – the way to win in NBA Jam is simply to have an awesome 3-point shooter – at least a 9 – combined with a power presence in the paint. You control the gunner, let the computer clean up the mess and you win easily. Every time.)

When Rice came to the Lakers, all of Los Angeles was excited. Here was the missing ingredient from a title. Adding a player who could pour in 20 a game with Shaq and Kobe meant an 82-0 season and average wins by 25 points.

However, Rice had to learn to become the third option and when he didn’t score 20 a game, everyone turned on him. No one realized you can’t take a shooter and a scorer and turn him into the third option in a complicated offense. It just won’t work. LA turned on Glen Rice because he didn’t immediately deliver a title. (Although he did in his second season, 1999-2000.)

Not matter what Lakers fans thought, we always liked Glen Rice a lot because his only skill was shooting. That remains our only skill on the court. We had a fondness for him and Chris Mullin.

Turns out, we are starting to like Glen Rice a lot more than we already did.

It was revealed this week that Glen Rice was doing his own version of NBA Jam when he was at Michigan, apparently using his ability to score in more ways than one.

In a new book to be released next week, Sarah Palin admits to having a one-night stand with Rice while he was a junior in college.

That librarian thing always works

Look, Sarah Palin is hot. That’s a fact. It’s why there are so many dirty porno look-a-likes of her. (And here. And here. Good Lord, and here. Tell you what, just Google it.)

We don’t want her in our political landscape, but she is hot like that librarian fantasy you have. How do you think Tina Fey has stayed relevant all this time? A pair of glasses goes a long way. Especially when she takes them off seductively and whips her hair and tells you that you should have remained quiet in her library, that you’ve been a bad boy and you need to be punished, then starts to push you back in your seat, unbuttons the top part of her blouse and straddles you while …

Sarah Palin, circa Glen Rice

Sorry, it just got really warm in here. Where were we? Oh, right.

So, Glen Rice hooked up with Sarah Palin (nee, Heath) while she was a newscaster during a tournament in Alaska. Good for him. It’s like that South Park where Ike Brovlosky, a kindergartner, hooks up with his teacher and all the grown men applaud it.

You know, it’s not the first time that a sideline reporter has hooked up with an athlete. Remember when Erin Andrews – yes, that Erin Andrews – gave Pat White, the former quarterback at West Virginia a kiss on the cheek. White’s response? He said “That’s between me and her.” Hmmm, shady.

So, why is everyone all a-Twitter? (Get it, since Glen Rice is still trending three days later) A hot newscaster and a young, virile athlete had relations. They both just happened to turn out to be very famous.

The only question we have while Rice was laying some Alaska Pipeline: Did Palin wear this bikini while she and Rice were intimate? And, because it was the 80’s, did she have any resemblance to a certain Black Crowes album cover? You decide.

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